Introduction
Life is a journey. For the last couple of years I found myself being weighed down by the expectations I put on myself.
Expectations created by society, family and friends. All it got me was a life of stress and anxiety and it took me many years to realize that it doesn’t have to be that way.
Recently I decided to embrace a lifestyle that priorities freedom and simplicity. This blog post marks the beginning of my journey towards a carefree life, where I choose to embrace peace and let go of what is no longer serving me.
Problems/Challenges
Everyone’s journey is different but I found myself constantly struggling with three things:
1.relationships
2. fear of judgment
3. unresolved Issues
- Relationships
Relationships are a part of life and I’ve never had one and that bothered me for a long time. Why are my friends jumping in and out of relationships and constantly have people of interest and I don’t?
Especially as a teenager and young adult people are asking if you’re in a relationship and if you’re not they always ask why and it was very annoying. It wasn’t until a couple years ago where I started to go deeper into relationships.
I am not much of a talker but at the time I was a student and had a job but during COVID those things slowed down which decreased my chances of running into someone so I decided to try online dating which was more like online fucking and even though it wasnt exactly what I was looking for it worked or at least I thought it did.
Fucking around can be fun but it doesnt really fill any holes. (No pun intended)
You can tell if someone is using you or not, if they care about you or not and those people didn’t and because I cared so much about having a warm body and stories to tell I ignored the fact that those people were not good for me and were not going to give me happiness and that is not ok. and it did more harm than good in the Long run.
As selfish as it sounds your life is about you and if someone isn’t giving you what you need such as comfort, happiness or peace then they are not worth it.
Not everyone deserves your time and energy.
2. Fear of Judgment
We all have times in our lives when we care about what others think but I felt like my “time” has lasted for many years. Having a fear of judgment can come in many ways.
In my case or at least what I believe it is that I was trying to meet others expectations and I was scared to be myself. Feeling this way stems from past events in my life (will be addressed in future blogs) but I realized that I was scared that people would see my insecurities.
I have always had low self esteem. I never thought I was pretty or could have a lot of friends or relationships or wasn’t smart enough to be in certain places.
So I thought if I acted like what people expected me to act like (which was like them) then I wouldn’t stand out and would have less attention therefore decreasing my chances of my insecurities being exposed.
As I got older my worrying about what others thought came more from me not achieving things or passing milestones at the sametime as others. I didn’t have my first kiss until I was in college and I didn’t got to my first party until my 20s and I have never been in love before
because some of my associates in highschool were constantly talking about these things and even though I wanted to do these things too I just wasn’t as successful as they were making me feel like shit because others wouldn’t have certain conversations with me because they knew I did not have the same experience.
Then one day I realized that it doesnt matter. Who gives a shit. So what you lost your virginity super early, congrats can’t relate. So what you spent your teen years getting drunk and sneaking people into your house when your parents weren’t home. Kudos! Can’t relate. Just because your not doing what everyone else is doing doesn’t make you weird or awkward. You’re you and that’s ok. Fuck everybody else they aren’t important.
3. Unresolved Issues
We all have moments from our past that linger in our minds, unresolved and sometimes painful.
For me these issues often show up in certain parts of life that prevent me from moving forward. Unresolved issues don’t just stay in your mind they show up in parts of your life like relationships, friendships, work and other things.
Lets face it, we will never be able to resolve all the issues in our life.
That friend you had a falling out with you might never see them again.
That crush that you never told you liked who is now married with kids you can’t not have them.
That toxic parent that died a few years ago will never know how you feel.
I am learning on my carefree journey that it is not about escaping the experience or emotions but growing and accepting them.
I am choosing to not let the past dictate my present. This continues to be a work in progress but I have been trying to remind myself that what happened and what I did or didn’t do is in the past.
These thoughts and emotions would take over so much that I would just remove myself from the situation and shut down which I thought was a good thing but it’s not.
I am just ignoring and avoiding those uncomfortable situations and that’s not how we grow personally and emotional which are two very important things in this journey.
Conclusion: Embracing a Carefree life Despite the Challenges
Nativatgating relationships, overcoming fear of judgment and dealing with unresolved issues have all been significant hurdles in my life. Each of the challenges continue to teach me valuable lessons which influenced my decision to start this journey to being more carefree.
Relationships
Building and maintaining healthy relationships is essential for a carefree life. Yes, being alone and comfortable with yourself is essential since this can be a lonely journey at times but we are not the only people that live on this planet but learning to communicate and set boundaries can provide a good foundation for healthy relationships.
Fear of Judgment
Acknowledging and addressing unresolved issues from the past has been a critical step in my journey. I can not let these issues hold me back so I have chosen to tackle and learn from them. This has opened an emotional door for me but I know it will bring me peace.
Living a carefree life is about facing challenges and learning from them. No one is perfect. Striving to be the best version of yourself while embracing the simplicity of life and finding peace and living in the moment.
I hope my journey inspires you to reflect on your own experiences and take steps towards a more carefree life.
Stay Peaceful.
Question: What are three things that made you want to start your journey towards a carefree life?